The Difference Between Motivation and Discipline

If you'd rather listen to the podcast than read the blog, click here for The Parents' Solution. The podcast drops April 18, 2023! As a follow-up post to my previous blog "3 Holy Grail Traits for Raising Entrepreneurial Kids," I wanted to focus on the difference between motivation and discipline, and why they are both important to your child's success.

Motivation is the ability to provide a motivating force, stimulus, or influence. It often is the drive that follows after an inspiring experience. That exciting stimulus gives your child the initial kick to begin the task ahead of them. While motivation produces the why for your child exerting energy into the task, it will not hold them for the long run. To be successful at any work, your child must learn the art of discipline.

Discipline, in the context of this blog post, is the orderly or prescribed conduct or pattern of behaviour. Discipline is also self-control. Having the determination to work daily at a task until completion at a set time, and with deliberate excellence, is an art. Many people in life do not accomplish their dreams simply because they do not have the discipline to do so. By teaching your child discipline, you are giving them a head start in life - discipline will take them from point A to point B.

As I mentioned before, both motivation and discipline are beneficial for a child's development, but it is important to recognize the differences and ensure that the child in your care is learning each side appropriately.

Motivation is a feeling, while discipline is a learned skill. A feeling, whether good or bad, can come and go. A learned skill takes time to hone and mature. It takes regular practice. It requires the process of trial and error - a few setbacks, some challenges that almost make you quit, and then that taste of victory when you succeed.

Helping your child become disciplined will give them the opportunity to practice self-control and independence. They will be the one in charge of making sure they get ample sleep the night before a ballet recital. They will have the responsibility of practicing those piano notes before a performance. They will learn the importance of opting out of a game with their friends to do research on a science experiment that they will be presenting to their class.

Discipline is the difference. This is not about forcing your child to do things; instead it is about encouraging them to do things and to be intentional about what they do, with a real end goal in sight. Motivation comes in perfectly here. As you observe your child, you will discover what motivates them. Some children are motivated internally. All they need is an internal sense that what they are doing is good and right, and that is enough for them. Some children require more of an external reward. Once you have discovered what motivates your child, you can help them aspire to ideas and set goals.

If your child wants to write a story because they were inspired by a book they read, that's great! Now, help them plan it out. If you are an author, you will know that every writer faces a period of writer's block, a time when motivation runs out and the story feels stuck or boring. This is where your child will need you. This is when you remind your child of the plan they made that says they would write a paragraph every day between 2-3pm. Encourage them to brainstorm new ideas and remind them of why they wanted to start this project in the first place.

I can guarantee you, that when your child completes the book project they will feel more confident in their writing skills than they did before. They will have an understanding of how having discipline leads to success. And they will be thankful that you were there on the journey with them.

Not only will discipline help your child push past the challenges that come with tasks, but it will enable them to see how hard work does pay off. More than just financially, hard work makes you a capable and competent human being. Discipline transitions your child from just being one of those talkers who gawk at other people's accomplishments, to being one of those doers, who don't have time to gawk because they are too busy changing the world.

Sources:

1. “Motivate”, accessed March 19, 2023, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/motivate

2. "Motivation", accessed March 19, 2023, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/motivation

3. "Discipline", accessed March 19, 2023, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/discipline

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